So, what's the plan now?

I got back from my ten month trip around South America just over three weeks ago and for some reason people think I should have the rest of my life planned out. But I wonder, what makes them think I’m not already living the life I want? Maybe I've always dreamed of being unemployed, thirty and moving back in with my parents. Sure, it has its down sides such as being told to “stop whining” and being accused of not knowing how to cook potatoes but the positives by far out weigh the negatives. So, to the next person who wonders what my plan is, I ask “What’s YOUR plan? You can’t seriously be happy with being financially responsible and having a job to go to everyday?” I recommend you all move back in with your parents, it’s not only the way backwards but also the way forwards.

Question: What’s hot?

Answer: Living with your parents in your thirties.

Question: What’s not hot?

Answer: Everything else.

My parents are (surprisingly) happy to have me back living with them. My Dad recently said to me “Your mother was worried you’d come back a drug addict”, so by coming home without a drug problem I have clearly surpassed their expectations and made them proud in the process.

There is actually a terminology for us thirty year olds whom for one reason or another have moved back home with our parents, we are referred to as “The Boomerang Kids” as in kids that they’d thought they’d gotten rid of but we’ve ricochet back to hit them hard in the face. Apparently, this cohabitation can take many forms, ranging from highly independent, separate-household arrangements to situations that mirror the high dependency of pre-adulthood. I fall into the latter of these two categories.




Boomerang Kids!!

I'm assured by other Boomerang Kids that there is no stigma attached to being in this situation due to the recession which excuses unemployment and moving back in with the folks. “Freeloader? Me? No! Why, I’m a Boomerang Kid!” All my life I’ve wanted to belong to a group like this. I considered joining other elite organisations such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, but apparently one of the entry requirements is that you have to have a severe addiction to get in, they won’t even look twice at you unless you’ve recently woken up lying in a pool of your own vomit or tried to sell your eyes for money to buy gear. I want to be in a club, yes, but one with such stringent entry requirements? I’m not so sure. So imagine my surprise and joy when I heard of this fabulous term “Boomerang Kid” the criteria for which I already fill and on balance seems better than being an alcoholic or a junkie when you think about it. The recession has made all of this possible, thank you recession, take a bow.

Living at home with my parents again is exciting. How far back will I actually regress I wonder? Will they have to say “This is our daughter Niamh, she’s thirty but has the mental age of an eleven year old?” Or will it be more of a case of “Just ignore our daughter, she loves to eat crayons.” Will I end up playing outside with the girls from across the road? Will my parents time me whilst I sprint to the local shop? Will I put on puppet shows for their friends? Jump into their bed for morning snuggles on the weekends?

I’d like to start a support group for the other Boomerang Kids. I can educate them on what to do when their parents get too old to clean their rooms for them. I've big plans for my parents. Once they lose the use of their legs I won’t just shove them in a home, I’ll get remote controlled wheel chairs for them, controlled by me of course. I’ll have weekend races with the parents of the other Boomerang Kids. We’ll also get together on birthdays for parties with games like pass the parcel. Of course the parcels will be filled with valuables from our parents houses, if the parents object we’ll just remote control them out of the room….Easy Peasy!

Question: What’s hot?

Answer: Remote control parents and Boomerang Kids!